Fallen
by C-chan96
Summary: No matter what anyone says, the heart and the mind aren’t always connected. You can’t communicate with your emotions. You can’t climb yourself out of love once you’ve fallen hard…or at least I can’t.
1. Part 1

I haven't decided for sure yet, but this will likely end up being a three-parter.

Disclaimer- I don't own the Mighty Ducks.

* * *

I've never been one to give up something that I really want; as a matter of fact, you've teased me throughout my entire life about it. Never a cruel teasing, of course. The type of teasing that siblings exchange. 

Like the time you wouldn't share the blue marker in kindergarten, and I wouldn't stop bugging you until you got annoyed with me and chunked it at my head. Or when I desperately wanted to learn the triple deke, so I kept working at it and working at it until it became second nature. Or even just last week when I convinced Banks to clean our dorm room so I wouldn't have to do it…though that last one is probably more of a case of "evading something I don't want to do" as opposed to "pursuing what I want," but you've never been one to poke at me with details.

But this time it's different. There's more at stake than a blue marker or a certain shot in hockey or even my sense of laziness. This time the stakes have skyrocketed to an arena that I'm pained to admit even exists. Pained to admit that I could ever feel the way I do.

My friendship with you and him hang in the balance this time. Two friendships that have defined who I am today could be shattered if I upset the roles we've placed ourselves in over the years. Our friendships are anything but fragile, but that doesn't mean I can stand to take the heartbreak that would follow. The look in your eyes as you try to gently tell me that you could never think of me like that…the betrayal in his eyes when he found out his best friend has been harboring these kinds of feelings for you; for his girlfriend.

I could never do that to either of you. I've ignored these emotions longer than I can even remember, and I'll probably continue to ignore them for the rest of my life. Ignore them as he escorts you to our senior prom, ignore them as he proposes to you in an insanely romantic way, ignore them as I watch you walk down the aisle and into his arms…ignore them as I watch you slip farther out of my life and imagine masochistically that you were walking down the aisle to be with me. Not that it would ever happen…You and he have already told me I'll be the best man. I'm your best friend, after all. His too. There's no way I wouldn't be there to support you. Maybe by then these feelings will have passed…or maybe they'll at least be easier to bear.

You're sitting a few seats down the table, looking up at him with bright eyes. I feel a sharp pain tremor through me, so I instantly look to my plate. I feel as if I've been stung in the chest. It shouldn't hurt this much, but it does. It shouldn't hurt me to see you so happy, but it does…It hurts because I know there's absolutely no way you'll ever be mine. And it hurts that I can't bear to look at you without resenting you both. Resenting him because he wakes up every day with the promise of your love and affection, and resenting you because no matter how strongly I feel for you, you'll never feel the same. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times you've said I'm "like your brother" in the past year alone. Any thin thread of hope still intact is barely holding on with every bit of strength it possesses. It's wearing down with every passing day. Years of pining will do that.

But I've always been the stubborn one. A glutton for punishment. Practically begging for people to hurt me, to bulldoze over my heart. One could say I have a large neon sign flashing above my head that says "I don't mind if you play Ping-Pong with my emotions – it'll be fun." I try to keep a blanket thrown over the sign as much as possible, but occasionally someone with remarkable vision sees it and takes advantage of the invitation.

Granted, I never let the person see that they succeeded in hurting me. I've never been one to hand out that kind of satisfaction to anyone. They tend to wander away when they get bored, obviously not getting the desired results. The large neon sign must have lied.

But you've never seen that sign. Your eyes never catch the messages, but sometimes the messages catch you, pulling you in without you even realizing it. You don't know how hard it is for me to keep up our friendly, close relationship without letting myself create some idea in my head that it's more than it really is. How hard it is to playfully flirt with you, knowing deep down that you'd never in a million years leave him for me, no matter how much I'd sacrifice for it to happen.

"Charlie," you call down to me from your seat next to him. As I look to you, your face lights up, and you stand, motioning for me to follow you to the arcade area. My insides twist into knots, and I shoot my glance back down to my half-eaten pizza so I don't stare at you. Last time I allowed myself to look you in the face, I embarrassed myself. You didn't notice because you don't have any idea what goes on inside my mind these days, but I felt embarrassed enough on the inside to make up for us both. I was slipping, and it was getting tougher and tougher.

A shake of my head is all I can muster. I can't summon or muster a single syllable; my throat has closed up as if someone shoved a sock down it. I give in and peek just as your face falls, a small tinge of discouragement seeming to flash in your eyes. My insides twist more, this time for being the reason for your sadness. Why can't I just get over this and continue doing what I've always done?

Because no matter what anyone says, the heart and the mind aren't always connected. You can't communicate with your emotions. You can't climb yourself out of love once you've fallen hard…or at least I can't.


	2. Part 2

Still haven't decided how part three will be done…Hmm…I guess we'll see when I get there, won't we:)

Disclaimer- I don't own the Mighty Ducks.

* * *

Your eyes are different than I remember…more distant these days, it seems. I used to be able to stare into them and know exactly what you were thinking. I could tell at the drop of a hat what you were thinking…every flicker of emotion shining out. You were like an open book…but it's difficult to read an open book if it's always closed. 

I can't remember the last time we made eye contact. At least a month. For most people, that's probably nothing, but for us…well, it is. We've always made constant eye contact, always completely open with each other. You've told me every problem that has arisen ever since we were young and I no longer had cooties (and vice versa.) You've been my confidant since before I knew what the word meant. Lately, though…you won't even look at me. You get quiet whenever I talk to Guy, clamming up and looking away. You've never done that before, and I can't seem to piece together what's going on with you anymore. I try so hard to spend time with you, but the mere suggestion sets you off into your new reclusive state.

I want to spend time with you. There is things I've been dealing with that I haven't had the chance to say…things that I can't exactly announce around the other Ducks, which is the only place I ever see you anymore. You refuse to be alone with me, and I can only wonder if it's something I did. Did I hurt you without even knowing it? What could I have possibly done?

Just when I think I know you, something happens that confuses me even more. Like that time I could have sworn you were staring at me, but when I looked at you, your eyes were locked on your lunch as if the very world depended on the precise movement of your fork from your plate to your mouth. When I asked you about it, you flustered out a reply and immediately declared that you had homework to do…which although I know was a true statement, the part of me that does in fact know you is very aware that while you did in fact have homework, you had no intention of actually doing it.

You've become this enigma that I yearn to solve. Guy tells me to just leave you alone, that you'll come to me about it eventually if you really want me to know. You're the only part of me he doesn't understand…the only part of me I don't think I really want him to understand. If he knew half of the things I've told you, I have no doubt we'd get into an argument. I've told you things that Guy will never know. You know more about me than anyone in the world, and I'm assuming I know more about you than anyone else…though with the events as of late, I can't be one hundred percent sure. Did you find a new confidant, and now you're just trying to phase me out?

The very thought makes my stomach lurch. The very thought that someone else could be hearing the secrets and complaints I was supposed to be hearing upset me. It upset me far more than it should. I shouldn't be planning ways to get rid of her (or him for that matter.) It shouldn't bother me.

But the truth is that it does bother me. It bothers me a lot. I find myself thinking about it when Guy's talking to me. My mind wanders to you when he kisses me, startling me into breaking the kiss, much to his surprise. I know it's not a good thing, but I can't very well help it. Although I like to tell myself that I'd talk to you about this if you'd let me, deep down I know I wouldn't. It would probably just freak you out more. Heck, I don't even know what I'd say or what 'it' is.

All I know is that a void formed when you set yourself apart from me. A warmth and comfort vanished. Something I can't seem to fill - not that I would ever want anything else to ever fill it.

I guess I just never figured a hole that big would be left over. As close as we've been, I never realized we were _that_ close. It feels like these days, I'm just as dependent on you as I am Guy…maybe even more. He knows a lot of things about me; we, all three of us, grew up together after all. It's impossible not to. But there were some things I couldn't tell him. Not because he was my boyfriend, necessarily, but because he wasn't you. I don't feel as comfortable with anyone else in the world like I do you. You have a certain way of prodding at me just enough to say what I mean without making me spill more than I really want to. There's a confidence and leadership about you that makes me want your opinion…and the fact that you know me better than _I_ know me allows me to trust you even more. It's like you're the other half of my mind, and I never realized it because it's always been me, you, and Guy…one unit, almost, but you kept yourself just distanced enough to keep our balance comfortable. You were never big on being the third wheel, but you did it anyway. You bowed out when we made you uncomfortable, and looking back, that was far too often. Now that you're gone, it's like I can't function right anymore. Is that why you're upset?

You're poking and staring at your piece of pizza a few seats down from me, and Guy's chattering absently with Fulton; I can't seem to place why you aren't engaged in any conversation at all. I can hardly count on my hands the amount of times you haven't been in the middle of table conversation. It's just in your personality. You're the friendliest person I know.

"Charlie," I suddenly say, your name rolling off my tongue before I can stop it. When you look at me, my insides leap, and my hope inflates. I jump to my feet and motion towards the arcade. It's been ages since we goofed off on these machines.

Your eyes instantly shoot back down to your plate as if someone had kicked you in your stomach. I watch you slowly shake your head with a focused expression; I can tell your hiding behind your new wall. The wall that separates me from knowing you.

I try to build me own wall in order to mask the crushed feeling that just washed over me. I should've expected it, but deep down I just want you to tell me what's wrong with you.

I see the spark of your blue eyes when you sneak a glance that you probably think I didn't see. You face slightly contorts again as you go back to examining your pizza. You've never been one to bottle things up from me…even when you hide things from the rest of the world, you always tell me so you don't explode.

Please don't explode this time. I need you too much.

* * *

Banksiesbabe99- Yay, my never-ending supporter:) I'm glad to be back. Life has been crazy, yo. And I am _so_ behind on your stories, and I apologize, but I WILL get caught back up soon…I hope. Heh. Actually there's another C/C story I'm planning that's longer that I'm working on too, but this is an idea I got since I adore the couple so…even though this is kind of angsty. Meh. I'm glad, as always, that you liked it. ;) 

Punkteacher- Thanks so much. :) It means a lot that you found him to be in character. He's my favorite character, and I adore him like none other, so I strive to do him justice. I'm not sure how long you've been the fandom, but if you like Charlie, I recommend SpikeytheHedgehog's "Defiance is a Hard Game," and (not to plug annoyingly) I've got several other Charlie stories, if you're interested. Some of mine were written awhile back, so I'm not sure of their quality, but oh well. :) Thanks again for your awesome review.

Katie- Thanks, dahling! I'm glad you liked it. ;)

Meme:fangirls Charlie/Connie:) Hee. I'm glad that you like it, and thank you for the sweet compliments. :squee:) Aww, you are an excellent writer too. :nods: Yes, poor, poor Charlie…those words are very true. Forbidden fruit does always taste the sweetest. Lol. The RPG teaches lessons like that. :P But I can't help but adore my darling C/C love…:hugs them: Thanks again, Meme:)

Nebula- Thanks:) Hee, you are pretty perceptive. Thank you again, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. ;)

Liz- Thank you Liiiiiz:bounces and squees:)

Adriana- I do remember you:) It's been awhile. :huggles back: Hehehe, "cloud seeding"? Sounds…:cough: interesting. :P I hope the story provided as a good break. :) Hopefully you weren't _too_ bothered by it all. ;) But as you can see, the girl wasn't Julie this time. Tricked ya! Hee.


	3. Part 3

Wow, the formatting of the author's note and review replies were kind of messed up in the last chapter, but oh well. I trust that you guys got the drift. Oh, and just for the record, this isn't in fact the last chapter…I did it again. I have no control over the lengths of any of my stories, really. They have minds of their own.

And you can all thank Meme for blackmailing…errr…I mean, encouraging me to get off my butt and update this. :P

Disclaimer- I don't own the Mighty Ducks. Hmm.

* * *

There are times that I wonder if this will ever get easier. I've been sitting at this table with my pizza, attempting to look inconspicuous as I watch you, but I'm not exactly the king of subtly, am I? 

I stand up to leave. I can only take so much of him draping his arm over your shoulder, carefully feeding you a French fry like you are newlyweds. It makes my stomach turn every time.

You look up, slightly puzzled, but I sneak no more than a small glance at you as I pick up my pizza and start for the trash can, though I've hardly touched it. Throwing up what little I've eaten would not be a good exit to our little group gathering. Then again, if I did, then at least I could say I didn't feel well, thus allowing me to go back home in peace…then I could lay around and feel sorry for myself without anyone to bother me.

"Charlie?" you say, tilting your head to try to catch my eye; I do everything in my power to not look. I doubt you could make this any harder for me if you tried.

As I'm about to throw away my pizza, Goldberg asks me if I'm going to finish it. When I tell him I'm not going to, he asks for it. As I hand it to him, he claims he can't believe I almost wasted a perfectly good piece of pizza. I catch your eye and feel the sick feeling come up again.

"I don't really feel that great, guys. I'm gonna head back to the dorms."

You lock your eyes on mine, not allowing me to break free and retreat. You probe at me, and a feeling of vulnerability washes over.

I clamp my eyes and take a breath before turning to leave. A few seconds after I'm out the door, I hear it open and close again as your soft footsteps patter after mine.

"Charlie," you say again, though this time it's a command to stop rather than a question.

I stop walking but don't turn around. My insides knot themselves as you catch up to me, pausing at my side to try and get me to look at you…of course, I can't but you don't understand that.

"What's been up with you lately? You're acting really weird."

I keep my eyes diverted and shove my hands in my pocket. Maybe it would've been better to wait it out until you left first. That way you couldn't follow me.

"I'm fine. I just don't feel all that great at the moment."

I hear you shift and see the slightest movement of your head out of the corner of my eye.

"I didn't mean just this very moment. I mean for awhile now; we never talk anymore." I hear a soft tone of hurt in your voice, and I can't stand it. I start walking again.

You follow.

"Charlie," you say persistently, "Don't you walk away from me." You take hold of my wrist, and my breath catches for a second. Though I could easily pull from your grip and keep walking, I let my arm go limp. You let go, and my arm falls back to my side.

I swallow and let out a quiet sigh. "What do you mean?" I ask softly, referring to your original statement.

"I mean just what I said. We never talk," you repeat, and I swallow dryly.

"Sure we do."

"No we don't," you say with such quiet, calm fierceness that I want desperately to look at you – I can imagine the fire in your eyes. "You won't even look at me."

Your words make me wince a little as I look to the concrete. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. We're almost to the dorms. This situation is almost over. I don't know how much longer I can go without screaming my harbored feelings…which I know I definitely can't do.

"Look at me," you demand. I still can't.

We walk into the quad, not far from the dorms when you grab my wrist again and twist me around to face you. A look of fiery determination flickers in your eyes.

"Look at me."

I swallow and stare into you, hating myself for the way my brain ceases to function right. You're waiting for me to speak, but all I can do is stare. You hold my eyes with yours and wait, trying to pick me apart like you've always done. Analyze me. Find out the reason I can't look you straight in the face without hesitation.

Your eyes soften and your grip loosens, though your fingers are still wrapped around my wrist. I feel my heart pounding in my head, and I wish desperately I could just disappear and be alone in my room.

"Was it something I did?" you ask softly, your eyes wide and sad.

I stare back with a small frown. "No, of course not." What could you have possibly done? You're perfect.

"Then what's up?" you ask as you run your thumb over the back of my hand. A completely innocent gesture. A completely innocent gesture that nearly made my insides twist and flip inside out.

"N, nothing," I stutter, cursing my inability to think clearly when you're so close, looking so sad. Sad because of me and something that isn't your fault.

"I don't believe that for a second," you say, looking so deeply inside of me that I worry you'll figure me out. But you can't figure me out. Not this time. I can't let you…You understand, right?

"It's true," I reply lamely, knowing I can't even convince myself, so how am I supposed to convince you?

I'm protecting you.

"That's a load of bull, Charlie. Tell me what's wrong." I head a tiny strain in your voice, gently prodding.

"I…I…" Love you. "I've gotta go."

Pulling my wrist from your grip, I take a few steps back and suck in a breath while avoiding your eyes. My heart is beating a mile a minute. I have the get out of here.

You call after me as I make a beeline for the dorms. All I can think about is how I've got to get this in control. This can't keep happening.

I'll never climb out of the hole if I just keep digging.

* * *

Adriana- Thanks. :) Heh, sorry for the confusion. I'm glad it wasn't a "bad" confusion though. You weren't the only one. I'd have been really surprised if you weren't confused at all. Yeah, the first chapter was Charlie's POV. Hee, again, thanks a ton for the feedback, and I'm glad you weren't _too_ confused. 

Sarah- Thank you. It's fine. I'm really glad you've liked both chapters. :) And I totally agree on the Charlie/Connie front…because they **_do_** rock, yo! They are the OTP. Heh.

Meme- Thank you! Hee:squees: I'm so glad you like it. It _is_ our OTP, after all. We can look past the sadness and see how precious they are! We gotta _REH-PREE-ZINT_ the Charlie/Connie love. ;)

Banksiesbabe99- Yay! Hee, I appreciate your enthusiasm. :) Thank you. Hehehe, yeah, I guess that was a wee-bit confusing, yes? ;) Gotta throw y'all off the scent. I'm trying to be spontaneous and unpredictable. :P Hee hee. Yeah, I'd say we would have quite a bit more to worry about if Guy was kissing Charlie. XD :claps hands: I'm glad you liked that. :) I'm trying out "subtly." Heh. I'm glad it finally clicked. Thanks dahlin'. :)

Punkteacher- Awww. :) That made me feel all happy inside. I'm very glad that you it. I hope that you enjoy them; I know that "Defiance is a Hard Game" is definitely one of my favorites. :) Heh, trust me, dragging-on could be my middle name. A story that was originally thought to end up roughly thirty chapters ended up with seventy-one chapters for me. Heh. :) I'm sure you're doing a fine job. I may try to read through your story sometime. :) Thanks for the review.

Duckfluff- Thanks so much. :) I'm glad you like my stories and characterization of Charlie. I hope you enjoyed this part as well.


	4. Part 4

This chapter's kind of different…but it's important (as you will see and likely agree)…let's just say that this story is running away from me, making itself longer than I originally anticipated.

Disclaimer- Why, after all this time, am I still doing disclaimers? I mean, seriously…why? It's not like I really think anyone's going to sue. O.O Gah.

* * *

I watch as you run from me. You looked at me like I had burnt you with my very touch. You flinched when I took your wrist. I can't remember when I last saw you look so terrified.

When I followed you, I expected a simple answer, I guess. Maybe a "home life's been rough" or a "school's been tough" or even a "you've been doing this or that, and it's ticking me off." Instead, I get jittery, deer-in-headlights look and a stuttery, obviously untrue "nothing's wrong." For a moment I read you like I used to, but I saw a clouded and urgent confusion. I was able to read you, but it was like you were in another language.

As the heavy metal door of your dormitory building thumps shut, I chew the inside of my cheek and turn to walk away. When did you become such an enigma? Why wouldn't you just talk to me?

I'm not sure where I'm going, but just standing there won't help…maybe I should find Guy. Maybe that will help.

I walk to the quad and see him standing by the bench talking to a pretty redhead. I try to swallow the pang of jealousy as I walk up and place a hand on his forearm. "Guy?"

He jumps and looks at me. "Oh, hey Cons. Charlie okay?"

Another pang stabs at me when he mentions you. "Umm."

Guy turns back to the girl and gives an…apologetic smile? 'Oh, I'm sorry, it's my girlfriend. You know how they sometimes get,' I could imagine him telepathically telling her.

I shake the thought from my head instantly and feel a wave of guilt. I shouldn't be thinking that…I interrupted their conversation. Who am I to judge apologetic looks?

But you know about my insecurity regarding Guy's female friends. You're the only one I have to turn to, afterall. When I try to tell him, he spouts off that they're just friends and that I need to stop being so paranoid…that I flirt with guys all the time, so he should get some leeway.

But…there are just times I feel like he's far away from me. Like he's slipped away from the relationship, and we're just going through the motions…The years we've been together…it's been a long time. I'd like to say it hasn't dulled…that everything is perfect, and I still feel the same for Guy as I have for so long…but when I'm honest with myself, I know it isn't true…it's the one thing I never told you. The one thing I just couldn't share…because if I told you, than that would make it true. Make it real. How am I supposed to hold on if I can't pretend it's a figment of my imagination? That Guy and I are still deeply in love with each other? That's right. I can't.

But the way he smiles at her as she walks off…that fresh smile I haven't been able to wholly summon in quite some time…my jealousy is ebbed and numbed.

I know he would never physically cheat on me…he's way too sweet for that. But I also know that that sweetness has its downfalls. I know he'd suffer through a relationship with me long past the point he wants, just to keep me happy…It makes me wonder if he's just settling for me…holding himself back so he doesn't hurt me. Sacrificing his freedom for me.

The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. My thoughts are further confirmed as he watches her for a few moments longer than one would watch just anyone.

Maybe it was time that we admitted some things.

"Guy," I said softly, my heart suddenly thumping louder than it was before. Was I really going to do this?

Someone had to.

When he looks at me with those baby blue eyes, though, the thought of backing down flitters through my mind. What if I'm not doing the right thing?

I look into his eyes and suddenly realize there aren't anymore butterflies. I don't feel a blush rising on my cheeks. I don't feel like I'm looking at my boyfriend.

"Guy…we've…we've gotta talk," I say, and my throat nearly cuts off my words. I hope I don't sound too much like a frog.

He furrows his eyebrows. "Alright," he says and sits on the bench. "Shoot."

I swallow and sit beside him. I hope and pray I'm reading the signals right…I hope and pray I'm not the only one who can't feel it anymore.

Taking in a shaky breath, I look him straight in the eye. "I…I think," Just say it, Connie, "I think that maybe it's time we, uh, time that we…we ended things." I swallow. I'm scared to look into his eyes and see his reaction, but I'm scared to look away. Whether or not I'm still in love with him has no affect on how incredibly hard this is.

"What?" he says, blinking with slight confusion as he searches me for any hint at it being a joke. He finds none. "You want to break up? But…why?"

I continue to stare into his eyes and find something I didn't expect…I saw confusion, surprise, maybe defensiveness?

"I just…I think it's time. You know I love you, I really really do…I need you to know that. You'll always be special to me, but I'm just…I'm not…" I say, looking down at my lap and struggling desperately for what I wanted to say.

"In love?" he finishes.

I look back up into his eyes and stare for a minute before slowly nodding. "Yeah…yeah, I'm just not…in love with you anymore." I take his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "I really hope you understand, and I hope desperately that you feel the same, as terrible as that probably sounds. Something I never thought I would ever want."

He gives a small quirky smile, and I realize he almost looks as relieved as I feel at this very moment. "It's never something I thought I'd want either…but you know, I'm surprisingly okay with it. You know, like Twilight Zone-esque okay with it. I just want you to be happy, and if it's not with me…well…then we'll just think of our time together as something special that came to its eventual end. I love you too, but lately it's just…"

"Different," I say with a laugh as tears gather a little in my eyes.

"Yeah, different," he says with a laugh as he pulls me into a tight hug.

I rest my head on his shoulder and let out a sigh. "You a such a wonderful guy. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. I wish it could have turned out differently, but I guess that's life…gotta roll with the punches."

"Exactly. Life doesn't take its cues from us," he says as we part. Then he smiles again and pats my shoulder. "And just for the record, you're a pretty wonderful girl yourself."

"Well, you dated me for a long time. There had to have been something special about me," I say with a soft laugh, causing you to laugh as well. I can't explain the tremendous relief I felt at that very moment. Another moment of silence passes between us before I speak again. "You know, I get the official right to interrogate all of your new girlfriends, now…starting with that redhead."

He laughs and shakes his head. "Marissa and I are just friends."

"Uh huh. Take your story somewhere else, 'cause I'm not buying. I've dated you long enough to know that look. I expect you to be happily dating that girl very soon, Guy Germaine, or I'm gonna have to intervene. Don't make me intervene because you _know _you don't want me to intervene."

"Oh course not. I'd be crazy to let you intervene," he said with a grin.

We both laugh again, and I stand up with a smile. "Well, I'll catch you later, Germaine. You better take care of yourself."

"Back at ya, Moreau," he said with a grin. "And I better see some boyfriends pretty soon. No endless angsting and moping because of little ol' me."

"Oh, are we forgetting who broke up with who? I am _sooo_ not shattered," I said with a teasing grin, and he placed a hand over his heart as if he was wounded.

"Ooh, burn."

I laughed and patted his cheek. "You'll live."

Walking away backwards, I smile and give a small wave goodbye before heading back to your dormitory. You may be avoiding me, but by no means am I going to wait until you're out of your little funk to tell you this.

* * *

Tiff- Thank you. :) I'm glad you like it… :nods: Yeah, Charlie is very hug-worthy; I just tend to give him a boost. Lol. Thanks again!

Meme- :giggles and watches Charlie get poked: Aww, poor baby. :P Hehehe. No love. Don't worry, he'll get his act together. :nearly bounces off the wall: Yay! I absolutely loved it, afterall, because sweet Charlie/Connie love is precious! This arrangement might be too bad if we both keep whipping out C/C for the world to read! XD

Banksiesbabe99- :giggles: Silly. I got cheered for! XD Lol, you missed the 'e' in 'subtlety,' but it was close enough, my dear:is an English nerd: I will pretend that I saw the 'e'. :) :claps hands: Yesss, Connie and Charlie are indeed meant to be. It's all my fault! Yay! I converted someone to the BEAUTIFUL Charlie and Connie love! Score! Hehehe…yes, Guy needs to understand that Connie and Charlie are madly in love. Hehe, thanks for the review, darling, and I hope you liked that chapter!

B- Thanks:) As you see, Connie came to her senses…She's a smart cookie. :P Hope you liked that chapter, and thank you for the review!

Stef- Steffie-dahling! Hehehe, I like being stalked by the author-stalker-alerts. XD …Hehehe, I'm that predictable, huh? ;) I'm glad you caught on to the Charlie/Connie lovin'. Hope to see more of you around the RPG, yourself! That poison is going stale, and Charlie and Peter need to torture Scott. ;) Thanks again, hon.

Sarah- Yes, Charlie just can't catch a break, can he:) Thanks for the review. Hehehe…and ONE DAY, I will update "One Way Ticket"…I swear I will. Lol.

NoLaBeLs- Yay! Another Charlie/Connie fan. There are very few, yes. :nods: It's sad. Meme and I are trying to beef up the fandom again. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. ;)


	5. Part 5

Fweee…umm…yeah. This chapter is dedicated to Meme because I miss our OTP and will never let them die. It's quite short though…I apologize, but oh well. It needed to be. :nods:

* * *

I let out a sigh and walk into my dorm room, shutting the door behind myself and leaning against it. It was so hard not to tell you…One of many opportunities that I resisted. You're so close, yet so far away, as the saying goes. Just out of my grasp, being dangled in front of me like a cruel joke.

If only you knew.

Looking around my dorm room, I see that Banks is sitting at his desk working intently like the good little cake-eater that he is. I don't know if he even realizes I'm standing two feet away from him.

I turn back around and open the door, and Banks looks up from his paper. "Oh, hey Conway."

"Uh, hey Banksie." Man, I suddenly didn't feel like being here. Having Banks there completely ruined my chance of angsting in loneliness. Thanks a lot, buddy. "I think I'm gonna head out for awhile."

"But you just-" he started before shaking his head. "Nevermind. Go on," he said with a smirk. "And you call _me_ weird."

"You _are_ weird," I insist, "Who in their right mind does homework _voluntarily_ on a Saturday?"

"Someone who doesn't want to _fail_, that's who," he responds with a small grin. We've had this conversation before.

"And I repeat, _you're weird_," I say with a slight grin of my own before slipping out the door. "Catch ya later, Banksie." I hear his laugh and response as I close the door.

I let out another sigh as the grin fades. I shove my hands into my pocket and start for the quad…I decide to go the long way considering I have no real purpose or aim; it's not like I'm in a rush to get there. Then I'd have to go through the trouble of thinking of another location to mindlessly walk too…and that contradicts the "mindless" part of the deal.

I pass by Guy and Averman's dorm and wonder if you're in there. Shaking my head and realizing there's no way you could already be there unless you went directly to his dorm after talking to me, I push the thought from my mind. There's no need to bother thinking about that anyway…can't be healthy.

I step out into the quad and sigh, wishing I could just switch off something in my mind…turn off the part of me that wants nothing more than you to feel the same about me as I do for you…the part that just once wants to see my emotions mirrored in your eyes. The part that wants to hurl anytime you and Guy do anything even remotely "coupley"…which is about every 5. 6 seconds, on average. I spend a lot of time wanting to hurl these days.

I glance to my side, at first seeing nothing too odd. Upon a double-take, however, I could swear I see Guy and some other girl on a bench. He looks at her as intently as I wish I could look at you. She giggles and throws her arms around him, and he stares back with a grin and kisses her timidly, causing a light blush to them both.

Something swells inside me – anger and horror on your behalf. How could he betray you? How could he not realize what a great thing he has?

I want so badly just to walk over and slug him. To tell him I saw him and couldn't believe he would do something like that to you.

But I don't.

Instead I decide that my sudden urge to avoid you isn't a top priority. Before the object of my affection, you're still my best friend…you deserve to know. If Guy was going to treat you that way, he didn't deserve you. It just didn't make sense…but unless I'm sudden going crazy, I know what I saw. The hard part will be trying to tell you without you thinking I'm lying…

I don't even know where to start looking for you. You could be anywhere…well, not anywhere, I guess. I saw you less than an hour ago, so you couldn't have gone far, but that still doesn't narrow it down much.

Trying very hard not to look at Guy as I try to evaluate where you could have gone. Your dorm? Maybe.

I debate walking that way, but Guy starts to turn in my direction, so I panic and dash back into the boys' dorms. Not sure why, but it felt like the thing to do.

After briefly chastising myself for not casually walking to your dorm, pretending nothing was wrong, I start back for my room. Maybe Banksie would be gone and I would finally get the room to myself.

…Yeah right. Maybe when pigs fly…Banksie doesn't exactly have a thriving social life when it competes with school.

I purse my lips and round the corner when I bump into something, or rather someone, shaking me from my thoughts.

* * *

Sarah- Thanks:)

Meme- Hehehe. Yes, I was kind enough to break up Connie and Guy first this time. XD I figured we didn't need another druggie Guy on our hands. :giggles: Hehehe…though I must admit the RP is precious nonetheless. XD They just caused a dramatic uproar…heh. I miss them desperately, and yes, I know it's my fault. :nods: They're lucky I was nice to them here. Lol. Yes, Charlie, listen to Meme. XD Thanks for the review! ;)

Banksiesbabe99- :feels so happy after reading that review: XD I'm glad you liked Connie and Guy's nice breakup. The thought to make it angsty flitted through my mind, but then I decided to go against the norm and make it be mutual for once. Lol. Me, choosing nice over angsty…;) Hehehe…I think many people are guilty of writing Connie and Guy's angsty breakup. :dances for Charlie and Connie: Yay! Hehehe…I'm so glad to hear (read?) that it put you in a good mood! That puts ME into a good mood:) Lol…"subtly" "subtlety"…same difference. Actually, I just typed them both into Microsoft Word in order to write this reply, and both of them registered as correct, so maybe it has two spellings and you were right afterall! XD Thanks again for your never-ending support!

Stef- I'm so glad you liked their breakup. :) I felt that they needed a nice breakup since in the RPG, it was such a trainwreck. Lol. I'm glad you found it plausible. CHARLIE AND CONNIE TOTALLY DO ROCK THE WORLD! ;) Lol. Yay! I'm happy that you will be around. Lol. Rah for the poison!

NoLaBeLs- Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it:)

Katie- Hehe, you aren't COMPLETELY floored with surprise? ;) We are only addicted because Charlie and Connie is the OTP and they deserve to be loved. Lol. :giggles: I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you are amused! ;) Charlie and Connie's minds are interesting places. :P Thanks for the review, hon!

Tiff- Thanks! I'm glad you like it so far. :)

B- Thank you. :) Yep, now they can get down to business. Lol.

Punkteacher- Thank you; I'm glad that's an acceptable reason for them to break up. Lol.


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